Whenever I'm gathered with a group of people over 40 now, we just kind of sit and stare into space and say things like, “What is this life?” And I think that probably comes to everyone…. I have no idea what's going on most of the time. I can't handle life at all. But when I'm writing, it's a controlled area, and I can think things through a bit more calmly, think through ideas, feelings, sort them. But in the life, no. I'm like a merchant of chaos. I don't know what's happening. I don't know which way is up. I'm terrified of the future. I worry about everything. I'm just another citizen caught up in it. So the people you really need to admire, the people who are in the world facing everything we're facing and yet able to really function, get out there, do grassroots action, act, keep acting, make decisions. I am not that person. I know I'm not. I'm a writer. It's a very reduced role. And I enjoy it, and I love to do it. But it's not to be confused with people who are really able to act in the world in a positive way for others.

ZADIE SMITH